Moving Closer to the Point of No Return

Saludo!

It's a regular Monday afternoon. I woke up early today after having gone to bed early last night-- novel idea, no? That felt good, I'll just go ahead and write it.

I'm faced with how to fill the day. There is a part of me that wants to immediately find employment for myself, and there is also the part of me that wants to hold out for the brilliant idea that I know looms. This idea I speak of is my new business undertaking.

I feel that I've been close lately, but close does not take me there. It does not get me where I need to go. It does not earn me an income. Sadly, that seems to be my most pressing need as of late.

Let's see... it's early in the week and I have a few things on the agenda. First, I need to find a new place to live for late December. I need to call Mr. Gibson and chat with him a bunch. I need to start working on my short story entry for The Chronicle, which is due December 12. I need clean out my refrigerator. I need buy a ticket home for X-mas. I need to find a turkey costume for Thanksgiving. In short, there are a lot of things I need to do.

But where do I begin? How do I get my priorities in line? There are so many concerns and so little action being done. What gives? Why do I feel like I'm revving the engine in idle? Is it because I don't have a job and constantly fiddle with the small things around my apartment? Most likely. Note to self: Get a job, you lazy bum!

Philio got into Madison. That's pretty darn exciting and grand. It's especially great because I didnt think that they would give him the nod based on his short hussle this semester at Normandale. But apparently, there is someone watching over him. Hopefully that person/thing watching over him will watch over me when I buy my lottery ticket(s) tomorrow. We're shooting for 300 million plus. That's pretty exciting.

In about two hours, I am going to go check out a few apartments in the Hyde Park/Central Austin area with my new real estate agent Aaron. That should be fun; at least I will get out of my place for a little while. It's sad that I need an excuse to leave the house for a while. It's much healthier, even I will admit it.

So here's my latest business idea: Selling cooking lessons to families. Here's the program. I go around to households in the area and find out what they are looking for, food/cooking/etc. I then organize a program, catered to their needs, and we go to the grocery store, get the goods, return home, and cook the food.

Here are the issues... Getting people to buy into my program. Also, how much would one charge for such a service? Also, would there be interest in learning how to cook? Is there a market for a cooking tutor? I'm willing to bet that there is, so I think I'm going to investigate.

For now, it's almost lunch time, so I'm going to resurrect some of the tasty treats from this past weekend. My casserole just wasn't what I was hoping it would be, especially after a few cocktails on Saturday night. Perhaps that's why it didn't taste so hot: I had been cooking under the influence (CUI). Not a good idea.

Things under the influence never appear to be a good idea. CUI equates to pooey.

Seoul Searched

What's poppin'?

It's a pleasant Friday evening here. I'm very much looking forward to the arrival of the weekend. I'm not even employed, and I yearn for the weekend.

FUB called me today while I was watching Jeopardy! He called to discuss my search and give me some advice. I have to admit that his call was very reassuring. It's actually what I was looking for, although I didn't really know it. He didn't try to tie me down with "do this, do that" or this is what you need to do; rather, he gave me some suggestions and examples from his own life.

He even offered to listen, which is something that ole whitey d. has not been real good about; I feel like these past few days I've spent inefficiently pondering what I want to do with my life. Not really my life so much, but with my immediate future.

I'm torn between finding a job where I stay content with it and between doing something bold like starting my own business. Obviously, if I had my choice, I'd be starting my own business. The trouble, I find, is knowing what enterprise to undertake. Sure, I've got my list of things that I like to do, such as cooking and playing sports, but I struggle to know how to integrate those things into a legitimate business.

Then there is the part of me that tries to find the holes in the system. The part that looks for places to make money. Thats what it seems to be all about-- making money. It's really sad because my whole time growing up I told myself that I never wanted to be the money-hungry guy. Now, it seems that that's all I'm out for.

FUB reiterated that his motto is "Do what you love, and love what you do." As redundant as it sounds, it seems like good advice to follow. If that's the case, then I'm due to start a restaurant, bar, and a batting cage. All good things, in my opinion. It's too bad that the market for restaurants in Austin is seemingly saturated.

I would really love to start a restaurant in Minneapolis but it seems to be a very difficult and challenging task. I know it would get good marks from the family perspective, and perhaps that's justification enough. I just wish it wasn't so damn cold up there all the time. I really love the weather here in Austin!

Another problem that bothers me is that I don't feel like my head is working as well as it should. I feel like I rack my brain for the pithiest ideas. This is obviously very frustrating because I never manage to come up with much. I always seem just short of the most brilliant concept. To what do I attribute this? I cannot say.

This is especially true with regard to my book. I can't quite get a grasp on what I want it to be about. I want it to be captivating and entertaining but not a borrowed idea. This appears to be quite the challenge.

I will say this though. Despite being two months in to the employment search game, I feel about as close to zen as I ever have been. This is a strange realization just because I should be about as far as one would expect.

Today, while I was strumming my guitar, I finally sensed improvement. Not only improvement though, I sensed some skill, which is a first for me in any musical department. Never have I been talented in any musical sense other than band and song knowledge. From a technical standpoint, I've always known nill.

Well, I've attempted to record my thoughts for the day. I think I'm going to start attacking a meal for dinner. It's probably going to be chicken related, because thats always good. Chicken or chicken? Chicken, I guess.

Chick On!.

Eureka

Yo.

So the other night, I had a great idea with regard to my job search. Here's what I did. I posted on craigslist an advertisement for my ideal job- with appropriate job description. By doing so, I would attract the people who apply for the job that I want. I posted a fake email address, so they would send their resumes to the email address, which I could check.

By doing this, I would be able to see who I'm up against. Beyond that, and the fact that it was kind of an interesting idea, I'm not sure what good it is. It is a bit ethically wrong, but it is educational to some extent. It seems as though the people who've sent their resumes, that every one of them is padding it in some way or another.

This makes me feel good and bad. I am proud of the fact that I have not padded my resume in the slightest bit. At the same time, I wonder whether I need to pad it, in order to get myself a job.

Off the subject, but the job search as of late has made me more inclined to start my own business. I know, I know. Talk is cheap and until I walk the walk, the talk is not good for anything. I really need to come up with a brilliant idea and take it to the house.

Back to the search though, I went to the UT mens' basketball game last night with Mrs. Mooney, and she pulled a little trick out of her sleeve when she introduced me to jen ohlson who is in charge of sales for the arena. By doing so, she may have found me a part time job helping to see that the stadium is filled for all the games. We shall see how that one pans out.

For the mean time, it's Thursday night, and I've only got a good day of work to look forward to tomorrow. I really need to keep the work on my book rolling. It seems as though the toughest part about writing, for me, is finding the motivation to do it. It's so much easier said than done, as is everything in life.

So thought for the day: start walking the walk and start making things easier done than said.

Adieu.

To due today

Anyang.

I woke up today with, again, little on the agenda other than what I had written down for my daily routine. That entailed some sittups and pushups (which I didn't do), guitar, reading, job related activities, and the like. Not real exciting stuff.

I did, however, get a chance to talk with Pierre for a little while in the early afternoon. That was as frustrating as usual. The difficulty, I find, is that I plan to talk to him about one thing and get feedback in a certain way, and then he goes off with another agenda. He has a unique way of doing things, and I find no reassurance in his methods. Much of what he says I immediately disregard solely based on the way he delivers it.

What he did suggest that I didn't immediately erase from my memory was that I need to write everything we discussed down. He also suggested that I begin to look for a "boss" rather than a specific company. The reason being that the boss could create a job for me, rather than me wait in line like all the other cattle seeking employment. It's worth noting.

After I got over fuming about his management style, I got on with my day. That entailed working on patrickhdavis.com and fixing a nice dinner. I also watched some PTI and Jeopardy! which are tough to pass up when theyre on and Im home.

I bought yet another lottery ticket which was no good. That's pretty crappy. I'm not going to lie, it's not going to be easy to win the lottery. But if you don't play, you can't win. I don't care about all the naysayers who claim that the odds of winning are negligible. Those are the people who aren't going to win.

Tomorrow, I have an interview with Global Solutions. This is really my last hope for getting a job the "old fashioned" and "wrong" way. I really hope it works out, so that I can quit dealing with all this drama. The worst part about searching for a job is that when youre searching, youre not working. Right now, that's all I want to be doing, as sad as it sounds.

It's almost depressing. I say almost because I really like not having a job. The only thing that could make the experience better is knowing that I would soon have a job. I can't say that though. I need to stop being so cliche anyway.

The time is now, billy blanks.

Mondayne

Ahoi hoi.

Today, more than any day, it has hit me that I'm going about my life in a directionless manner. I know what I want from a long term perspective, but I can't figure out how to get there in the short term. Man, I'm getting deep on myself.

This complaint relates directly to my jobsearch. I feel like I've lost touch with my job search. I don't know what I'm looking for anymore. I think at a very fundamental level, all I seek is decent pay and flexible hours. Wow- that's pretty sad.

I'm not gonna lie; I expected more out of myself at the age of 23. I never thought that I would have such a difficult time getting a job. It has become frustrating. It has become embarassing. It has become disheartening. I never would've guessed that it was going to be this difficult.

I think what I need to do is to focus on my priorities. I need to define them, first of all. I need to establish order to them. Then, I need to figure out how I am going to achieve them. I'm really having issues maintaining focus on things when I can get distracted so easily. I, Patrick "Hobo" Davis, am getting distracted at my own game. I always prided myself on my ability to get work done under intense pressure and adversity.

And look at me now: I sit here typing on this blog to whom? I don't know. About what? Who the hell knows. It's become an ugly part of my life. I like to think that there is always some good that can come out of the bad. It's hard to see where that fits in for me when my immediate future is looking so bleak.

I think this is true: I need to start my own business, and I need to raise some capital in order to do so. Ideas for business are seemingly a dime a dozen. I need to start writing more things down, and I need to start acting instead of just whining about it.

Also, today, Monday, November 7, 2005, I am beginning my career as an amatuer writer. I intend to write a semi-autobiographical book. Little more can be said before I establish the outline for the novel. I anticipate that it should be done by X-mas.

As soon as I finish entering this entry in to Hoblog, I am going to take the first steps to becoming a successful college graduate. So far, my track record for success post-graduate is minimal. It is the start of the week, and I am going to really take it up a notch. By weeks end, I intend to see a dramatic change in my own behavior.

For now, get some Chinese food and enjoy the greasy deliciousness. I'm off to go do unpaid, personal work for a while.

Chee Ears.

Win/Loss Column

Hola.

Saturday evening, here, and the weather is great. It's probably in the low 70s, maybe upper 60s. Either way, its a fantastic evening for a plethora of activities.

Today, I had my first baseball game with the Austin Thunder. Prior to game time, I was a bit unnerved by having to start on a new team, let alone be playing against the old one. Luckily, the guys on the Thunder proved to be some of the more friendly types that I've met in Austin. We even took the win over the Giants by a score of 11-7.

Before the game, I did not get a whole lot accomplished. Despite the fact that it is Saturday, my ambition to find work didn't materialize in the way that I figured it would.

It became clear to me during my game though. It pays to have a job. Why do I say that? Some of the guys on my new team were inquisitive about why I was sporting a Vietnam jersey, and I got to telling them that I was a teacher in Korea... yada yada. They asked what I do now, and I sort of laughed when I said that I'm unemployed.

What this made me think about is that I want to be proud of what I do. I asked one of the guys what he did, and he went on to explain that he was a locator for utilities etc., and whatnot. He was very enthusiastic and excited about his job. That's exactly the way that I want to be with my job.

Side note: I was invited to play on their spring team as well as a soccer team.

That being said, I considered the thought that I had accepted and been accepted with Sectormedia Co. I think I would have been proud to announce what I did for a living. While hindsight is usually 20 - 20, I know that with regard to the pride test, I would've passed in this instance.

Really though, the bigger question is, What do I want to do? Is it sales? Is it advertising? Is it communication, PR, culinary... etc.?

I think it has become clear that I want to do a little bit of everything. I find myself being driven to become the entrepenuer inside me. I just wish that I could extract these juices that flow and make them into a gravy that can be bottled and sold. Everyone loves gravy.

Some of the things I love: food, sports, news, and my family. It seems pretty easy then. I have start my own business which incorporates all those things. I think, arguably, the best part of starting a business that incorporates all those things is that I would give my family some security. I worry about the futures of certain family members, bulldogs aside, although there is plenty to worry about there.

It is for these reasons that I've decided that if things on the job front dont change for the better, that I'm going to motion and make for a summer wakeboarding/waterskiing camp on Lake Minnetonka. There is still so much opportunity out there in the Minnetonka area. I just wish it didn't get so cold for nine months of the year.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and my plan for the day is to crunch some serious numbers for Batting Off Inc. and the Davis Bros. School of Wake.

Last night, I booked a ticket to go home for Thanksgiving. I haven't told anyone in my family about it and purport to keep it a secret as long as possible. I had trouble justifying spending the money for a ticket when, a. I'm unemployed and b. I could be employed and won't be able to take the time off. My thinking, though, was that I don't live in the country for nothing. If I was still in Korea, it would be a different story.

For now, I'm going to read in my book. It's getting late, and I'd like to make a good go out of tomorrow. I like having productive Sundays. They tend to help me get ahead so that I can hit the ground running on Monday.

One Love.

Friday Fried Day

Ciao Bella.

This week, the job hunter learned a new lesson in the employment game. If it hadn't been for a combination of indecisiveness and poor PR on his part, he would have a job to begin on Monday. That being said, let's get to the specifics.

It was my understanding as of Tuesday afternoon, that I had an open invitation to embark on a sales opportunity with SectorMedia Co. In my head, I had a few days to decide whether it was right for me. Perhaps my indecision was an indicator of great reservation.

Nonetheless, when I exerted myself in order to ask for more time, on Thursday, I was informed of the decision that the position had been filled. There are a couple things to take from this experience.

First, communication is essential, and it should never be taken for granted or assumed. I did not do a very good job of conveying my opinion of the job, company or opportunity. I failed to give them the impression that I was really sold on becoming a part of their team. But, again, that being said, perhaps, my refusal to be completely sold was an indication of nonpreference.

The next thing that I learned is that opportunities like such should be treated with the delicate care and attention that should be associated with the highest of positions. 'No job is too small' would be a good rule of thumb. By not committing or asserting my complete views, I did both them and myself an injustice.

The third lesson that I took away was that I'm still not clear on what I'm looking for. This job may have been the closest I come to finding the job that I've been searching for; at the same time, maybe I was wise to walk away-- or be escorted away. What was great about that job was this: flexible hours, entry level sales, lucrative pay, opportunity for growth, small company, and potential for high level of learning. Conversely, everything that was great about the job could be argued was not a good thing.

The bottom line here is that I need to start making decisions, start taking responsibility, and start using the communication skills I have in order to get me there.

It's Friday afternoon, and as I look forward to next week and my job search, it has become clear that I don't any leads to look forward to pursuing. Quite frankly, my lack of success should be attributed to my lack of proper work.

I'm assigning myself the homework of outlining specifically what I am looking for, how I'm going to get there, and when I'm going to get myself there.

Furthermore, in the case of my apartment, I'm fighting against the clock. I have until December 31st to have moved into a new apartment. At the current moment, I am planning to have moved by halfway through December.

Essentially, the moral of this story is that I need to be better prepared.

This message delivered by the Boy Scout who never was.